Today, I chose to write a brief yet significant post about the emotions of our children. I believe this subject requires particular focus because children often struggle to manage negative emotions. I would even venture to say that identifying emotions can be challenging, not to mention knowing how to handle them. Before diving into the topic, I wanted to share with you (as usual) what motivated me to address this issue. Are you ready?
This morning, I attended an intriguing session titled "Tapping into Your Spiritual Gift" (today's focus was on creativity). My instructor asked me to identify where the block to my creativity was located in my body. To my surprise, I couldn't do it. How could this be possible? I wondered. At forty years old, with extensive experience working with emotions, I should have been able to do this effortlessly. This experience made me realise that knowledge about emotions should be widely accessible and taught from
being young makes it easier for people my age to let go.
We begin with fundamental emotions like happiness, fear, anger, sadness, disgust, and trust. As we mature, we develop more self-aware emotions such as guilt, shame, embarrassment, and pride. In this setting, learning about emotions, engaging in discussions, and occasionally providing a brief definition of a specific emotion can be beneficial. This helps children understand what is occurring in their bodies when they experience slight discomfort. Our emotions are highly personal because they are influenced by factors such as culture, religion, life experiences, or education. For instance, someone born in the East may have a different perspective on school, clothing, and religion compared to a person raised in the West.
Emotional intelligence involves the capacity to identify and comprehend one's own emotions, as well as attempting to understand the emotions of others. Society often employs unhealthy methods of processing emotions, such as shutting down, becoming numb, or displaying aggression. These negative approaches may provide temporary relief by releasing tension from the body, but they also adversely affect others. Suppressing emotions is particularly harmful, as it can manifest as physical pain and potentially lead to illness over time.
Children primarily learn to manage their emotions by observing others. This involves watching both the emotional behaviors of their parents and how parents react when the child shows their own emotions.
First, we must allow. We permit ourselves to be a certain way, to feel. We may experience sensations in our body, such as in the stomach, chest, feet, or hear a voice in our heads. Allowing involves stepping outside our mind and letting emotions flow through the body. Try not to focus on your thoughts; instead, observe them like clouds and let them pass. In yoga classes, we incorporate movements like shaking, wiggling, and breathing exercises. We also try to imagine our emotions as a big wave, then let it transform into smaller waves and eventually into white foam. I personally find this method both effective and relaxing.
The subsequent step is to embrace it. Identifying the emotion is crucial for it to be experienced and communicated. Utilizing "I" statements aids in maintaining the individual's focus, allowing them to delve deeper into the feeling rather than getting sidetracked by blaming others. In yoga classes, we aim to introduce calming poses like the child pose, where children can simply be present with the emotion and breathe.
Emotional mindfulness will enhance with age as children learn to recognise and reflect on their actions. This development will depend on factors such as their personality, temperament, and experiences of trauma. It's important to teach children that experiencing all emotions is acceptable because they provide valuable insights and should be acknowledged. In daily life, we can incorporate affirmations and small celebrations for every act of kindness, empathy, and self-respect.
I think that the most beautiful gift to our children and ourselves is complete acceptance of their negative feeling and lots of hugs.
Sending lots of love to You and the beautiful process of letting go.
Magdalena Klimek
